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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Employment USA

You are seeking employment with our firm?
We are SSUC, Shit Shovelers United Corporation.
We use Black & Decker's diamond tipped, teak stalked, double barreled High Performance
Shit Shovels to cut through the most insidious mounds of turds the
American Rich can produce. They eat Gold, for instance, for breakfast, and shit plutonium, at night.

You are responsible for shoveling, and redistributing all of this Rich American Shit
All along the borders of the poor areas. You will be shoveling Shit All Day.

Compensation is 4.25/hour. No exceptions. You should be LUCKY to get this much
Good American Pay. No Benefits. You will lie in this Shit if you pass out from the noxious fumes,
Or are too tired to continue your Work. You will be subject to the most Clinical and Precise Training.
THIS IS SHIT SHOVELING. This is The Most Important Job for all Downwardly Descending
Americans in 2012.

You MUST have at least 10 Years of SHIT SHOVELING EXPERIENCE, using the Tap and Draw Method of Shit Shoveling for the American Super Rich, TDMSSASR. You MUST repeat this acronym
as a Mantra, as you work Very Hard. No Education is Required. Only 10+ Years of Shit Shoveling Experience and a certificate from your night school, or community college for the TDMSSASR, is helpful
In Seeking Employment in our firm.

You WILL be subjected to a life-long Extensive Criminal Background Check, including EVERY THOUGHT YOU HAVE EVER HAD. You MUST fill out our 666 jpeg JackBoot PDF and
WRITE DOWN EVERY Criminal Thought you have EVER HAD, from age 5 on. If you FAIL
to comply, you will be TERMINATED, WITHOUT PREJUDICE. The FBI, CIA, and Interpol
Will be gathering all crimes you have committed, or thought about committing, and Documenting
Each item, in our long 666 jpeg JackBoot Invasive Profiling Tool. You are being watched.

You will also be subjected to a LIFE-LONG credit history check dating back even to when
YOU were in your mother's WOMB, BECAUSE YOU had something to do with HER spending
Proclivities, and YOU will be allowed 1 mark, only. This invasive and EXTENSIVE Credit History CHECK
Will also include CHECKING FOR just ONE LATE DAY PAYMENT, Anywhere. If you have EVER been ONE day Late,
YOU will be Ineligible for hire.

Also, WE DO NOT LIKE LIBERALS. You MUST sign up with the American's for America Party and
Stay with us for the remainder of your Life. You MUST ALSO sign up with the Jesus for Christians Party, and attend church Before and After all Shit Shoveling Work Days.

There are NO BENEFITS. We REPEAT: NO BENEFITS. NO SICK DAYS. NO HOLIDAYS. All those with an extensive education, i.e., Jr High School, WILL RECEIVE LESS PAY,  at 3.87/hour.

Tardiness WILL NEVER EVER BE TOLERATED.

thank you for your interest in Employment USA.


Saturday, June 16, 2012

The Empty

Madness. Some people never go crazy. What a horrible world they live in. Am I impolitic? Am I unwise? How do I know I exist? Hollowed out skin bones brain blood smelly clothes and old shoes. I am like an ocean: mostly calm but with some tidal waves once in a while. I dont hide from it. In it. Around it. Or do I? Do you?

Saturday, March 3, 2012

The Moon

Have you heard of Zecharia Sitchin? Have you heard of the Anunnaki? Have you heard of the 3600 year orbit of "planet X," otherwise called Nibiru? Have you heard that the Moon is hollowed out? Did you know that NASA's equipment detected a vibration on the Moon that lasted for hours, due to a LEM, or some gadget, crashing against the surface of the Moon? Did you know the Astronauts saw "Santa Claus"? Did you know Santa Claus was code for UFO's? Have you heard that if Earth had a natural satellite, it would be much smaller than the Moon? Did you know that Moon rocks were dated older than the Earth?

Well.........

The Moon IS Nibiru. And it's been parked in orbit for a long time!!

New Post Since 2010

It is now March 3rd, 2012. I had nothing to say in 2011. I just got off Facebook, a social ego boosting tool, and also a spy mechanism for the NSA, and I am now reeling in my addictive behavior. I feel I have to put something useless up on the web. This is it. Will Isreal start WWIII? Will gasoline go up to 5.00/gallon? Will Peter finally get laid in 2012?

On Facebook, I broke all the rules. I spoke of politics, religion, personal issues, including masturbation, my low self-esteem vis-a-vis women, my lack of professional success, bad jokes, poor puns, every possible embarrassing thing you ought not to post, I posted. What did this type of unwanted honesty do? It alienated me, and the more honest I became, the more alienated I was. I had 600 friends, mostly other lame egotistical worldwide composers, some of whom were decent, I must admit, who all were telling the world how WONDERFUL their lives are. "I just won the Schmickle Schmackle award, for 25,000 dollars!!!!," they all crow. "I am being signed to the Noneothersuch label for 1.5 million!!!" they say.........."Hey, I just got hired by Harvard!!!".......fffffffoooooock uuuuuuuuuu. Ego.

I also just terminated a few "friendships" with women because all I am to them is basically another woman. I have to hear about how they fall in love with Mr. Muscles with the Big Cock. I of course am just ears. Dickless ears, cheerleading: "Hooooorrrray for YOU!!!." Yup, nice guy syndrome. I am not a nice guy. I am tired of being put in the nice guy category, but that is where fat, middle-aged, sexless eunuchs wind up, I'm afraid. It is incumbent upon me to muster the gumption to go to the gym and work for those "6 Pack Abs" guaranteed for female satisfaction.

2012, get ready for Aliens to come down from Mt. Olympus and shake our hands, "OH, WE ARE SO PLEASED TO MEET YOU EARTH PEOPLE," as we try to fire our bazookas at them, and hand grenades, etc. Since I am essentially totally invisible, I can pretty much say whatever the fuck I want!!! The only person who reads my incredible posts, is me! Everyone else is too lofty. They all want New Age spiritualism, or finance blogs, or something else to uphold the status quo of NOT REVEALING WHO YOU ARE. No that is much too scary. Also, you must sound as intelligent as possible. Indomitable. No chink in the armor.


Thursday, December 23, 2010

Pain

Have you ever been in so much pain
That you just erase
Everyone from your life?
After all, they were not there
When you really needed them.
Where were they?

Have you ever been in so much pain
The tears well up inside your eyes
But they do not fall down
Your cheeks?
The pools of salt, you hide them
from onlookers In the library.
What a goddamn pussy, crying
In the public library...
And all people will say
Is that tears are contagious
And patrons will catch your sadness

Where were they?
Those people, when you needed them?

Have you ever been in so much pain
That you even wanted sweet relief
From having to live another minute?
And the only reason you didn't follow
Through...
Was the love you felt for that cat.
The one who never left your side.

Have you ever been in so much pain
That you became angry;
Angry enough to want to kill somebody?
And you even fantasized about their death?
You wanted to rip the skin off their body
And dance in their blood?
But you can't do that
So you torture yourself, endlessly. Constantly. Every day.
Except it was not enough, so you had to drag others
Down with you? YOU WANTED THEM TO PAY!
You will PAY for your crimes against ME!
For ignoring me.

Where were you?

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Caravaggio

Hey Caravaggio, you me and Dylan and Buk should hang out, fight and get drunk!

Loveliest Color (1995)

Shit is the loveliest color in my life, and frankly if it were not for the smell, I would carry it around on my shoulder all day long. Cockroaches are the reason why mankind may not prevail: their exceptional brilliance. Yesterday I awoke and there was a giant cockroach on my dick. I screamed out with a loud orgasm, for it appears that I had been humping this poor cockroach all night long. I tried to get out of bed and skidded on my ass because of all the jizz on the floor. Jizz makes a glopping sound when it hits the ground. My head pounded the floor in what sounded like a flam-tap punctuated by a buzz roll. The crunch I thought I heard, needless to say, was my little cockroach, now pressed firmly against my head, with cum and dust. I proceeded to get up again and placed my hands under my ass to grip myself lustfully before slipping in that dreadful semen again.

The clock struck four and my erection was waning. To rise again I would have thrown fifteen pieces of Salisbury steak goblets at the local bartender if I'd only left the turkey in the dresser.

To live the way you feel you must fuck a live skunk, but only if the conditions are right. Have you ever swallowed 10/40 motor oil? This crazy commercial suggested, or tempted me to try this method of consumer based hysteria ploys. Of course I loved the texture as it coated my esophagus on its way down, but now all my food rapidly travels from my mouth to my anus in nanoseconds. I really shouldn't wear pants right now.